| continuation of PRR 2 |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|01:10 pm] |
>> I was somewhere along the lines of Sven. The italics is from a song, like I said. I try to make it sound like he really cares for Tiayou and Eve. So Eve's on his shoulders and such, and proof that Eve doesn't really mind is because she basically lets him, even if she protests.
I'll write more on Sven later.
>>Tiayou I try to explain through Eve, when she's sitting on the counter watching the two of them cook. Tiayou's sort of spacy I think, it's like a genius syndome, haha. Like a type of idiot savant if you will. And Hakase's her last name, not Tiayou as I originally thought. I had to look it up. She should have a conversation with Eve sometime in the future when she's being more serious. That will come with time. It doesn't make sense to have now so early in the story. Eve needs a reason to be there for now, and when she doesn't, then she can leave and help.
>>Then everybody's sitting around the tables and talking, sort of. This is my attempt at Sven's humour, which is so difficult to write. It's like crazy seriousness of sorts or something like that. It's hard to place. So 'a stunning and enchanting exit was at hand' comes from that. Or the cooking conversation I had to come up with. Bad, yes. O well.
>>And, yes, I view Dr. Tiayou as a mothering spirit. Which is why Sven's all up about the bigger heart. I almost see her as a Mother Earth character, knowing everything, and being in tune with nature, which makes her out of sorts with life. She's not as bad as in the manga, with her burnt pancakes I think..ew.
>>And then he leaves Eve to figure her out. I don't think that was really necessary, since Dr. Tiayou had helped them a lot in the past, it makes sense that he would trust her. He's just making excuses with himself to leave because he doesn't know how to handle a relationship. Then I have a little proof of him being attracted to her..and my favorite line that I have ever written 'In response to reflection, another sip of tea was inevitable' hehheh. Conceited, maybe. But I liked it a lot. Nyeh.
>>Have I mentioned how I'm relating Dr. Tiayou to the water? Which doesn't make sense since I just called her mother earth. O well. It's because I make the water sound evil later on when Sven dies, when really it can go either way. I think my original thoughts on it were that since water could change so suddenly, and was like life to the world, I'd relate it to Tiayou since that's the way she basically is. I think it makes perfect sense. haha.
>>Then Sven leaves, on the pretext that he can't understand the scientific talk. You might say if he really loved her he would have dealt with it. Like I said, he's confused about his feelings, so he runs away. He sort of rethinks it in the car, where he feels safe so therefore everything makes sense. We fear the unknown right? So if Sven understands everything about a car, that's where he's going to be able to feel the best subconsciously. And continuing...
>> I have a weird blade thing here. It's for Sephira, obviously, and another character. It's obvious when you think of it, but I can't explain it now because it would ruin the horrible plot that I'm trying to keep a hold of. What I'm trying to say is Sephira's confusion over her life. That's the grayness and such. And how she feels like her path has been chosen for her, with no place for her to think for herself. That's the blade's no deviation part. The hollow interior, that's self-explanatory. The handle part, you could take that in a couple of ways. It's sort of like a comfort for her, because it's the only thing that she has that's hers. So it makes sense. She's supposed to be this calculating person, but she's sort of been scattered after her battle with Creed, that's why she holds the handle so tightly. Trying to keep a grip on her former self.
Then the point, the death of sorts. Just more me explaining her confusion.
Finally, the fact that it says, "or might...be how a swordsman thought" is my only reference to the fact that two people are thinking here. The second sentences are the other person. The fact that he says might, and man, mean that he's a HE> haha.> and that he isn't a swordsman, because he's trying to get into that frame of mind by thinking that. Why would he be thinking like this? It's so obvious. There's even references from Sven's point of view when he's about to get attacked. And Sephira? Just to get a little insight into her. And the fact that I felt like examining her sword. haha. The symbolism of a sword, trite.
>>Then I have the best comic relief I could think of, its prolly one of the last. Because Sven dies and things start rolling from there. Here I'm just establishing that Rins still has Train's jacket and each of their characters before things start changing. Carefree, i guess. I enjoyed writing it, it was much simpler minded. I hope nobody French hates me for my disregard of the language. hhaa. Janus will use it later, in chap 3. That should be my only reference to that though...and Train's little money in the shoe thing? That's just my stupidity showing through. The only important part after that is when Train's carrying her in his arms. Their first on the top of a building. That symbolises where they are now. They feel on top of the world, but cold equaling lonely, up there. And she's afraid of falling. That's easy to understand.
Then their by a desolate looking building. That's to describe the next couple of chapters and dangers that could occur. They'll feel even more lonely, it'll be dark, etc. A hard time in their lives is ahead basically.
But then she ends up at her apartment, meaning they should both make it through whatever's about to happen, and when they make it through things will be a lot better. Because they're not on a roof anymore, they're still high up, but they're near a home, and that creates good feeling and such. From there he gives her a peck on the cheek. Lets assume it was meant in a friendly way since he should know she's dating. Much to everyone's horror. haha. it would ruin it if they kissed now. I mainly wrote that because I couldn't resist. And I'm trying to explain Train's spotaneity. ((SP?))
Besides that, she still has his jacket, and he's left for home. And ya, she acts like she doesn't like him, but isn't that the way she usually acts around him? I tried to embody that...
>>Sven's thinking about stuff. My attempt at Train's profile. It ended horribly. But at least I tried. and he thinks about Eve..blah blah monologue monologue. then he thinks about himself, and the eye that looks to the future but never enables him to escape his past. Yes thats Cowboy Bebop-ish. I took it from that. I don't know if I mentioned that in the A/N. He's sensing danger of the attack but blowing it off and nervousness about Eve. There was a moment when I attempted his humour again, which was disastrous, so that didn't happen again.
The meaning of life is happiness? That's hitchhiker's-y, ya I'm a fan, well of the answer to life's happiness / 42. that's just hilarious.
then he explains the town somewhere along there. At first I was going to have it be a mix of all the important towns in the manga. The town Train met Saya, the town Tiayou leaves near, the base of Chronos, but I sort of canceled out Saya's thing because I never had Train walk to the bell-tower that she had always wanted to go too. And I'm not quite sure if it was the bell-tower, and it takes forever to find it in the manga, so him going there wasn't an option, I didn't want people blowing casket's at me.
Then there's some more stuff, and he finally gets out of the car. There's a sense of ferality and I finish it with a mask of stars. That should help EXPLAIN SOME THINGS. which im not at liberty to say until chap 4. anyways. his foreseeing eye gets carved out. which is why in his death he's finally able to understand what he should have done. or maybe it was just death making things understandable. I don't quite understand death.
>>And then I have Kranz stuff. He kind of sounds too connected to Baldor. But i had to. And he yearns to see again, which is OC. But I think I'm trying to relate that more to clarity than actual sight. He only feels free when he's fighting, but he's only allowed to do that when he's with his partner Baldor, and the reason he can't ever just do it himself is i guess cuz he's sorta reclusive..and he can't see. That has to create some sort of barrier.
Anyways, I thought irritated was a good emotion for him, but the writing sort of swayed from that. And I hinted at him having an extremely active imagination. Not quite sure why just yet. But if you didn't notice, I had him thinking about blood etc. again. Like I did with Sephie...I don't know why I always think Chronos members have a tendency to want to inflict bodily harm to everybody including themselves, but I do. So he remembers the feeling of slicing his hand or something, i'm pretty sure i didn't write it as him doing it at that moment.
Theres a little more obvious attempt at symbolism with Baldor, but I hated it so I'll skip it. Then the window. It's the third time I've mentioned these windows throughout the whole story. As you can tell, it comes from the feeling of being trapped, and the only exit out. Everybody in the story is yearning for the escape, but some just don't know it yet. The window is a very big thing, and when I finally have people closing the window, that'll mean they're happy with their lives and can live without the constant need for escape. That their comfortable again. The window shows up for almost every character. I've had Sephira, Baldor, and Kranz now. And Train, Eve, and Rins have their moment with it after this. It is very very symbolic of the restlessness and yearning for more.
This all sort of spawned from painting my brother's room. We had had a sky scene, but where replacing it with a universe type thing. We didn't remove this one bulletin on the wall until much later, but when we did we had this square of sky surrounded by the night's sky.And at first it was open, but after awhile of seeing things, and understanding humility and the freedom we get here, we decided we'd paint it closed because we didn't need that feeling of constant escape anymore. Does that make sense? I hope it does.
And then Sven dies. He never really fights her because he doesn't ever get anything to fight her with, and without his forseeing eye he's at a major disadvantage. So the feeling of security amongst the four of them that I was talking about explains why he never checked for danger. So there's a bit of Sephira stalking him, and acting a lot unlike herself. This will make sense if you don't get it when I explain it at the beginning of chap 4. which i have said numerous times by now i presume. o well, once more for good measure. haha
I hint at Fezzik, Vizzini against Wesley. The only prob wz that Wesley had mercy, and Sephira wasn't showing any. This sort of proves how she's definately acting out of character. This is from the Princess Bride. If you're going to read it, read the abridged version, the one a future fan re-wrote. He takes out all the heirarchy stuff and pages about the fashionable hats of the day. Useless facts. The part about poisoning both the cups, is from when Wesley has to go against a man that considered himself one of the most intelligent in the world. It's a sort of game where the man has to close his eyes while Wesley poisons one of the wine glasses, and the intelligent man has to decide which one he himself should drink to live. Basically, if he chooses the one with no poison, he will live and Wesley will die. But Wesley has built up an immunity to the poison over many years, and therefore can poison both cups, dooming the intelligent man, but being able to live himself. Sven doesn't live, but he dooms Sephira, and in a sense himself too because he's 'poisoned both cups'. ya. he hasn't built up an immunity haaah. ok. enough of that.
>>He leaves her his cellular to pick up. If it hasn't been explained yet for people who haven't read the whole thing, Sven and Train both have trackers in their phone that the car using its radar system can track. What I've done, though, is made it limited, meaning that if Sephira moves out of range it's useless. That's why Train immediately goes after her instead of using the signal, he assumes she could get out of range faster than the car could follow her. That should make sense. I'm just trying to make things harder here, k? He'll follow the signal in chap 4, and be totally amazed shes stil here. Which she isnt at hte same time. hahhaa. ok.
>>He has his little death scene, :tear: and his last words, to live to the fullest basically. Trains in total disbelief. I bring the lyrics back in. They didn't rhyme like I originally inteneded, i hope it makes it better tho....and he dies. and i mention water. thats a Ring 2 reference. hhaaa. The song is a Rod Stewart song, my mom loves it. it really goes liek this...; THE WAY YOU HOLD YOUR KNIFE, THE WAY YOU SIP YOUR TEA, THE WAY YOU CHANGED MY LIFE, OH NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. something i can't remember exactly THE WAY YOU SMILE, THE WAY WE DANCE TILL THREE, the way something something OH NO, YOU CANT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. NOO. YOU CANT TAKE THAT AWAY, FROMMM ME.
yaa. thats basically it.
>>Eve has her window scene. I try not to realy say 'her' limbs etc, but instead 'the' limbs etc. A sort of disembodied sense. Again, her bodies tying her down, and she doesn't feel a part of it, confused about who she really is. And her soul feels sepereate from it, and needs the escape. Therefore, the window. She opens it. Don't know many constellations. I think my knowledge extends to the north star, which is in the little dipper, the big dipper, draco the dragon that goes around those, and orions belt...haha. that really is all i know.. so i stayed away from mentioning constellations in the stars that she loves so much. i assume she knows all the constellations, i just don't.
And then Eve senses Sven's death. At the time that she's debating on whether to wish upon a star. The falling star, which i tried to symbolize as Sven dying, i guess is also the only chance of her having a childhood leaving also. Because he was the only person that gave her that, and as he's dead, she doesn't want to make a wish, because it would never come true sinc she's looking at it as an inanimate object. And the fact that she understands it makes it less mystical, so she doesn't care as much about the imagination behind it. Eve should have an imagination, she turns her body into diff things...she just doesnt use it all the time ? iv confused myself a tad bit. damn.
>>and then rins. she's symbolising Train the most. theres a window part in there. darkness, confusion, etc. im going to try and parallel train and rins a lot in the story... and i dont feel like explaining this part...so im gunna skip it. i dont think it really matters cuz nobody reads this.
>>well let me at least say stuff about the mud. she's not really confused like 'gray' confused. she has a sort of destination, but she's not quite sure. she's still moving forward tho, she hasn't stopped like sephie. 'wading thru mud'. when i picture rins for this story, i sort of see an abandoned warehouse. the woods brown, so that's where that came from. the roof's breaking apart, so theres gaps where the light shines on the ground and other patches of shadow, and the corner's are dark. it's not an extremely big room or nething.. and she's not sure where to stand, or to sit. but she knows she cant leave out of the door behind her. so she has to go somewhere in the room, but shes not sure where.
figure that out i dare you.
and i say sum stuff about her dropping her diamond of clarity. that will take physical form 2 times thruout the story. once in chap 3. it'll tie in w/ train the second time. i guess he provides her w/ clarity. she needs freedom and she doesnt understand that. and thruout the whole manga train is supposed to stand for freedom among other things. so! ya. makes sense inmy head.
>>we have a janus moment. he leaves her a note that hes cuming ovr. shes sorta mad cuz he broke into her house and invited himself in. that becomes more obvious next chap. but shes confused on whether seh shuld b mad at him or not, since it culd possibly b her being confused about herlife. so he's at fault ((according to me)) but she doesnt quite realize that and blames herself, for now.
>>and then there's train's window scene. he smashes it. he's angry at sephira. at the moment he still wants to kill her, but his reflection is slowing him down. he tries to ignore it eventually but his conscience gets teh better of him. so he cant b the black cat nemore cuz it sickens him. but he sorta reverts bak and forth easily. hes coming to terms w/ it again in this story. i hope. im so scared for the ending.
then theres a shaolee moment. just bringing things into as much perpective as possible. baldor's heading toward the city. kranz is following the coffee trail that shaolee left. he's expecting baldor to meet up w/ train and fite. bringing the BC out , baldor wil just have to die for that. ((baldor likes coffee flavored gum if that helps)) fer sum reason shaolee knows train is mad and out for revenge. this will make sense later
andd thats it! a falling star. it isnt sven this time. its shaolee falling into evil. like eve falling away frm her innocence, train falling away frm his careless self, and rins falling away frm the life that she thot wz perfect.
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end of chap 2. wow tht feels good. i basically explained Remember When in the A/N of that chapter. but if any1 reads this and wants me to explain it comment and I will. or send me an email. wutev. |
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| PRR Chap 2 |
[Jun. 28th, 2006|07:20 pm] |
Wow. I have a website. haha. If I don't post in this for a certain amount of time this goes away right? That would be horrible. Well I'm going to get around to explaining this now. ((My cousin could arrive at my house at any time. So if my entry abrubtly stops, that's why.))
>>So we start out with Eve thinking about her life. I also use Eve to explain the basic timeframe and what's been going on recently. Everything's peaceful...etc. I need Eve to be confused about Dr. Tiayou for now because I'm having Eve be very confused about a lot of things. The statement about how "she wished she could have [the stars] in the daytime" will come in later to show how she's matured and accepted Sven's death. Also I personally think bringing in Dr. Tiayou and showing her more serious side (which will happen later)can sort of provide a parentage type thing that Eve looses.
Eve also is mad about how everyone treats her like a child. Which is kind of OCish because she gets over that in the manga..i think.. but I brought it back up so that I can solve that too. I was just trying my best to show uncertainty in Eve and then be able to fix it. It might make my story look like it's actually moving along.
She talks about Rins there for a moment. I think that explains why she wants Dr. Tiayou's companionship so much and can look over some of her crazyness. Plus it explains why Trian and Rins aren't the one's in a relationship. Because if it was up to me they'd have gone out after the fourth volume. haha. well. time to continue.
A star winks at her.. that could stand for a random thing of Sven winking at her or what I originally intended of something like the world laughing at her because she thought she was childish. She really is anything but that, which is.. another problem to fix! haHA! ((that would be my evil laugh))
I think I basically explained everything else of that part... explaining the current life... talking about the stars in a really weird way. I wrote that at like two in the morn if it makes it any more understandable. The stars are her repreive, and Sven is her reprieve too... so that's how I try to show that Sven is a star. That should come up later too. I just have to remember. So...for a star to die... YAAAA. pretty dumb wutev. But when I talk about stars in other area's of the place they don't always stand for Sven. Just usually.
Now I'll say a bit of Eve's profile in my head and be on with it. Eve I view as a pure person. Which is a childish connotation.. but that is just how it is so deal with it. So I try and describe her with purity and fair and light...words like that. She's a bit confused about life at the moment, life...people... I think she's having some issues with what is right and things like that. I view her as pure now even though she's killed people before.. because she's pure in spirit. She always wants to do the right thing even if there isn't always that choice. It's really hard for me to explain these things because it's more of a mental picture.
>> Now for a bit on Sven. When he's "allowing the headlights to fade" the headlights stand for lights and clarity. Soo.. he's entering love.. which is not understandable. He doesn't quite know he's in love, or is ignoring it. He know he's attracted to her though... which is obvious. The italicized things that he thinks is from a song I heard on my Santa Fe trip... so I don't own that. I forgot to mention that |
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